


Cold, Still, Quiet

by wanderer765



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 20:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10998855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderer765/pseuds/wanderer765
Summary: Iris without Barry.





	Cold, Still, Quiet

It's so cold without the warmth of him beside her. It's so still without the hum of electricity from his skin touching hers. It's so quiet without his gentle snores.

She tosses and turns, unable to get comfortable in their too big bed. It swallows her tiny frame with its emptiness.

She finds herself on his side of the bed, with his pillow beneath her. It smells like him and if she closes her eyes hard enough she can pretend it's not fading with each passing day. That the bits of him that still occupy this space aren't slowly drifting away.

She wears his shirt every night and imagines the wrapped sleeves around her torso, that are too long, are his arms. That she's not holding herself, comforting herself.

There's a drumming at her temples from the headache that is a now constant part of her, from all the crying, from the lack of sleep. She imagines it's his lips peppering kisses there the way he used to.

She wishes she could dream, that she could close her eyes and forget her new reality, but it's impossible to relax without him there. Without the safety of his love. Without the calmness that his presence always offered her.

It's all chaos now.

_Promise me that you'll run Iris._

Her mind doesn't stop. Her mind runs 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It's exhausting. It's sprinting to the finish line where he's waiting for her, but the road keeps stretching onward, endless. The finish line keeps moving. An open, barren road where she looks down at her feet and has to scream at them to move every single step of the way.

_I promise._

She's running circles. She's running away. Every fiber of her being wants to stop, to be still, to have him hold her and run for her. Her body feels so heavy these days. There's so much weight holding her down.

She can't imagine a forever like this. Living in a body with half a heart.

How do people go on living without their soulmates? It feels impossible.

She knows impossible. She loves impossible. But this...

She grabs her phone and hits play on an old voicemail Barry had left her. She lets the warm tone of his voice wrap around her like a blanket and feels her body relax.

 _'I'll see you later at home baby. I love you!'_ are the last words of the message.

Her throat tightens and her eyes well up with tears.

 _"I'm home Bear...I'm waiting. Come back to me"_ she whispers in their empty room.

It's so cold and still and quiet without him. She'd give anything to feel him beside her.

**Author's Note:**

> My heart hurts when I think about Iris having to get up every day and go to bed every night without Barry, so I wanted to reflect on what that might feel like for her. 
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed :)


End file.
